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To Hold or Not to Hold?

July 20, 2009
tags: ,

A few weeks ago, Trevor sent me a query for the blog that got pushed back by my infatuation with happiness last week (by the way, did anyone try that exercise? I’m really quite curious if my results match up with anyone else’s. The exercise itself is quite gratifying). Here it is:

Trevor was pumping iron at a gym a few weeks ago. Several times while he was there, he opened and held doors for people, including two guys. That’s just the type of person Trevor is–always looking out for others, often putting them first.

Trevor observed, as he has several times in the past, that the reactions of the two guys when he held the door open for them were startlingly different. One of the guys was gracious and appreciative, while the other seemed angry that Trevor had provided this courtesy.

Trevor theorizes that that second guy felt emasculated by the gesture. He’s curious what the general population thinks about this, especially guys (ladies, you can represent the nearest male to you right…wait for it…now!) I’ve posted the poll below so you can cast your vote. Think carefully, as this might impact the next 60 years of Trevor’s door-holding life (yes, I have him pegged to pass away at 88. That’ll give him plenty of time to do what he has to do).

My personal take on this is that I don’t think it’s emasculating and I definitely don’t think anyone should be offended by such a gesture. Chivalry in all forms is underrated and underused. However, my personal preference is that a guy pulling a door open should first enter himself if he’s with another guy.

Also, in the comments section, feel free to discuss where you draw the line with masculinity. What acts are okay? Opening a jar? Lifting something? Doing your taxes? Giving you a sponge bath?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. T-Mac permalink
    July 21, 2009 7:38 am

    I like to think that at 88 other people will just be holding the door open for me all the time, rather than that I’ll pass away at that age.

    Also, I’d weigh in that I don’t find holding a door open for another man to be emasculating, but I would find it emasculating to be unable to open a jar and to have to pass it to someone else (who could then easily open it).

  2. Hector Linares permalink
    July 21, 2009 1:11 pm

    “I don’t hold the door for you because you are a Lady, I do it because I’m a Gentleman” – Yaans (yet another anonymous non-sexist)

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