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Mythical Animal Fight Club, Round 1

April 23, 2009
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I’m exhausted, so I’ll keep this short and simple today:

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Bob permalink
    April 24, 2009 8:29 am

    Can’t stop the horn.

    • Josh permalink
      April 24, 2009 11:45 am

      What? The horn is purely ornamental with only a slight capability for containing and dispensing magic. Sasquatch would tear unicorn to pieces, then ride it home to wherever the hell a Sasquatch lives.

  2. Josh permalink
    April 25, 2009 8:32 am

    Because they’re both magical. Geez.

  3. Tolles permalink
    April 27, 2009 12:16 am

    Is this for reals? There is no contest here. The unicorn’s only talent is the ability to sweat glitter and fart rainbows, if that’s even a talent. It is useless as a fighting beast. Try and charge the sasquatch and the sasquatch will just rip off the unicorn’s horn and then use it to stab the unicorn in the eye. A sasquatch will wield that thing like he’s a prisoner with a sharpened toothbrush handle. But I don’t even think it would get that far since the unicorn would be scared off by the sasquatch’s mating howl. That unicorn better hope it can prance away before the sasquatch can catch up and consummate the relationship. (Writer’s Note: The term for the offspring of a sasquatch and a unicorn is a unisquatch. It’s like a really hairy, horned pony. With claws.)

    • April 27, 2009 8:35 am

      Tolles–As humorous as your reply is, I think you’re forgetting about the magical powers embedded in a unicorn’s horn. The horn, if I may quote Darwin, “can bestow life or taketh away.” In a fight, surely it would taketh life away. The sasquatch has one chance to break off that horn without being pricked by the tip. If that happens, it’s dead within seconds.

      • Tolles permalink
        April 27, 2009 1:03 pm

        That’s a good point. Darwin does say that about unicorns as does the Bible, obviously. Unicorn horns are also booby trapped. You ever see Judge Dread? You know how Sylvestor Stallone’s gun is booby trapped so that if someone else tries to use it the gun administers an electric shock? A unicorn horn is like that. But it better be one hell of an electric shock or else it’s just going to make the sasquatch angry. Then, it’s stabbin’ time!

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