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The Hottest Animated Disney Female

January 25, 2009

Amidst all the inaugural events this week, you may have missed a bit of important news. Over the last four days, a council has met in complete seclusion, cut off from the world, in the bowels of an Antarctic glacier. The 12 members of this council have sworn not to exit the chamber until they have answered the most important question ever to be asked among guys after having one two many drinks:

Who is the hottest animated Disney female of all time?

I can’t predict what the council will decide, but I can guess the top nominees. It’s up to you, fair readers, to vote on the accompanying poll. Your vote matters.

The Usual Suspects:

NOTE: Please don’t vote twice on different computers, or refresh cookies, or use different browsers, or change your IP address to vote more than once. Let’s keep this ethical. One vote per person, but you’re free to petition others to vote.

42 Comments leave one →
  1. Patrick permalink
    January 26, 2009 8:25 pm

    Why is anybody attracted to Ariel when her lower body is a fish for most of the movie? Ick. And who is Esmerelda?

    Anyway, I’m disappointed you left off the original three: Snow White, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty.

  2. January 26, 2009 8:28 pm

    Most of the movie? She’s human for at least half the movie. She has those cute little Disney legs.

    Esmerelda’s from Hunchback of Notre Dame. I had never heard of her either. Looks pretty saucy, though.

    I intentionally left off those classic beauties…I just don’t think they hold up to the ones i posted. Snow White? Please.

  3. Adam permalink
    January 27, 2009 1:36 pm

    It’s funny, because the other day I was talking to some friends about the same subject, and one of the girls claimed that some dude from Mulan was “the hottest Asian ever” and another essentially swooned when she thought about some guy from Anastasia (I’ve never seen either movie). But they all agreed, somehow, and quite creepily, that Beast from Beauty and the Beast was much more attractive as a Beast than as a human….

  4. Nancy permalink
    January 27, 2009 8:59 pm

    And Jasmine takes the lead!!!

  5. January 28, 2009 12:45 pm

    I don’t understand how Belle isn’t running away with this. I just don’t.

  6. Tim permalink
    January 28, 2009 1:12 pm

    Ariel’s piscine hotness is legit.

    Snow White might have earned her absence, but Jessica Rabbit? Is there no justice?

    Patty. Cake. Patty. Cake.
    Baker’s. Man.

  7. Neeraja permalink
    January 28, 2009 1:28 pm

    You and me, Nancy. We’ve gotta get this thing done.

    Jasmine rules!

  8. Tim permalink
    January 28, 2009 1:55 pm

    “I’m not bad… I’m just drawn that way.” – J.R.

    Until Disney’s finished slutting up Rapunzel and Tink (their next FILF, per the Voice), Jessica carries the flag. Without using her hands. (Those eyes… They know so much.)

    And not just because I feel like a pedo for ogling an adolescent half-fish.

  9. January 28, 2009 2:01 pm

    Agreed, Jessica Rabbit is the sexiest and hottest animated Disney female. Hands down, really. But I excluded her because Roger Rabbit is not an animated film, and I felt that differentiated it from the others. Plus, Jessica Rabbit is drawn to look like an actual female (of amazing proportions, granted), while the other women are just drawn as cartoons.

  10. Nancy permalink
    January 28, 2009 2:22 pm

    Neeraja, what is wrong with our men? I just broke up with Jamey over this issue 🙂

  11. Joe S permalink
    January 28, 2009 4:03 pm

    Jessica Rabbit should have been included. Shame on Jamey. Was Roger Rabbit real? No, he was animated. Hence, its an animated film.

    I cant believe there is such a thing as a FILF. That’s just weird.

  12. Tim permalink
    January 28, 2009 4:11 pm

    The important thing here is that Jasmine loses.
    I call upon all men, and awesome women, to vote Ariel. A vote for Ariel is a vote against my girlfriend, who may or may not be inclined to consume the souls of children (or drink your beer, if you don’t have children). There I said it. You decide. Do you love your children/beer?

  13. Neeraja permalink
    January 28, 2009 4:25 pm

    Alright, that is it. I am now offering a complimentary magic carpet ride for every Jasmine vote.

    Come on, people. Who doesn’t want to ride a magic carpet?

  14. Tim permalink
    January 28, 2009 4:40 pm

    This woman is a charlatan. Total scam.
    I have it on good authority she intends to drug you and leave you knee deep in a fugly faux Persian number at Pier 1, giggling over your vote while you shout ‘Wheee!’ and startle someone’s elderly mother.

    I’m telling you, she’s pure shyster. She did a stretch for it at Riker’s before she fell in with Thain and Madoff. She can’t be trusted.

  15. Brad permalink
    January 28, 2009 4:44 pm

    I don’t know why I never came to your site before, but I did today to vote for Ariel.

  16. Tim permalink
    January 28, 2009 4:47 pm

    And fate will reward you, sir. Fate will reward you.

  17. Nancy permalink
    January 28, 2009 4:58 pm

    Brad, you must be a spawn of the devil.

  18. Patrick permalink
    January 28, 2009 5:25 pm

    I second the “WTF?” on the lack of love for Belle. Not only is she hot, but she’s more intelligent and decent than all these other bimbos combined. The whole French thing is another point in her favor.

    Admittedly Snow White is a step down, but Sleeping Beauty is definitely on par with any animated chick.

    And Neeraja, care to comment on what a “magic carpet ride” entails, specifically? (wink wink)

  19. Kathleen permalink
    January 28, 2009 9:13 pm

    The guy (Demetri) from Anastasia is definitely hot…as is Eric from The Little Mermaid.

    And sorry Nance- gotta vote for Ariel 😉

  20. Bar Guy permalink
    January 28, 2009 11:28 pm

    Someone gave me a porn-looking picture of Ariel tonight at the bar. I never really noticed before but she’s hot. est.

  21. John permalink
    January 29, 2009 9:10 am

    Thanks to the guy at the bar last night who gave me some porn picture of Ariel… made my night.

  22. Rock the Vote 2009 permalink
    January 29, 2009 9:11 am

    Vote for Ariel! It’s a well known fact that mermaids-turned-humans stay young and hot forever. Unfortunately, Aladdin was released in 1992–16 years ago. Let’s just say the stretch from 01-03 wasn’t kind to Jasmine, who now looks like this:

    I also heard that she caught a nasty case of the face of hepititis from Jafar in an off-screen fling during the filming of “The Return of Jafar”.

  23. Neeraja permalink
    January 29, 2009 9:32 am

    Pat – My roommate has a persian rug rolled up in our utility closet and I’m pretty sure I could steal a couple of skateboards from the kids downstairs.

    It’ll be an AWESOME carpet ride (assuming you sign the zero liability waiver).

  24. Tim permalink
    January 29, 2009 10:05 am

    Lam, stop confusing the voters.

    My special thanks to all the Galen supporters out there who pitched in on this staggering victory for the Y chromosome.

  25. jimbo permalink
    January 29, 2009 10:24 am

    Jessica Rabbit is ineligible because of her nude scene in WFRR: (totally NSFW).

    Good call leaving her out–we don’t need to relive the Vanessa Williams disaster.

  26. Neeraja permalink
    January 29, 2009 10:41 am

    Timothy, I’m not confusing the voters. And if you weren’t such a huge cheat, Jasmine would totally be in the lead.

    For all you Ariel supporters out there:

  27. Nala or Jasmine permalink
    January 29, 2009 11:08 am

    Nala, or Jasmine…
    I dunno…
    it might be a tie.
    does that mean my vote cant count?

  28. January 29, 2009 11:13 am

    Jimbo, great point about JR, and thanks for the link. Neeraja, I wish I hadn’t clicked on that link, and “Nala or Jasmine”…I’d say that Jasmine needs your vote more than Nala does right now.

  29. Tim permalink
    January 29, 2009 11:14 am

    Remember when Simba and Nala are reunited and they’re wrestling and he recognizes her because she pins him and then she gives him that kiss and stares up demurely? And then went to battle against the hyenas and spilled actual blood?

    Remember when Jasmine shed blood? No. Me neither.

  30. January 29, 2009 11:34 am

    I’m a little disappointment no one has mentioned tinkerbelle yet…Let’s not discriminate and give sexy disney sirens of all sizes a chance. Tink..Yes We Can!

  31. January 29, 2009 12:04 pm

    John, that’s a fair point about Tinkerbelle…but she’s 6 inches tall! I guess she could still technically be “hot”…but standing next to Esmerelda, you think she’d get any votes?

  32. Nancy permalink
    January 29, 2009 1:31 pm

    Uhhh…vote for a tiny fairy or vote for a transvestite??? My vote is for Tinkerbelle!

  33. Patrick permalink
    January 29, 2009 4:54 pm

    Neeraja, I had voted for Belle already. Even if I hadn’t, no magic carpet ride would have gotten me to change my vote unless it included a ticket to NYC. Or it was similar to a magic mustache ride (innuendo!).

  34. October 15, 2009 10:30 am

    Wow! You really do write about anything! LOVE IT!

  35. January 8, 2010 12:37 am

    Um, where is Anastasia?!?


  1. The Great Debate «
  2. The Winner «
  3. The Hottest Animated Disney Male «
  4. Where in My Pants Is Carmen Sandiego? « Jamey Stegmaier's Blog

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