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Top Festivus Grievances of 2008: 11-20

December 10, 2008

Today’s list is brought to you by Gabby, with the Top 10 appearing tomorrow.

20. Twitter–I don’t want to know what you’re doing right now.
19. The phrase, “The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” Really, if we tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, I think we’re covered. If we assuem a modest average of 10,000 witnesses saying this phrase every day with a 1 second time reduction for leaving out “the truth,” conservatively figured over 800 years, that’s almost 37 years of time we’d have saved the judicial system. 
18. Bosses who can’t take a punch.
17.  Co-workers who forward “amusing” e-mails to you and then come right over to your desk to watch you read the e-mails.
16. A baker’s dozen…why do they get the one extra? I know the price is built in for that 13th bagel–don’t make yourself out to be so generous, baker. 
15. The earth’s orbital path around the sun: Why so lopsided? A pleasant 70 degree temperature would be nice.
14. E-mail forwards that ask you to forward the message to 10 other people or else evil will befall you…and my dad for constantly sending them to me!
13. People who think I fake bake–it’s like they’ve never seen an Egyptian before.
12. Everyone becoming an economist overnight (i.e., Ben Bernacke) (to which Gabby added, “had no idea what this one meant, but I got this funny image of an economist going to a sleepover at a friend’s house).
11. That “breaking news” is now any news less than 24 hours old.
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5 Comments leave one →
  1. John Aughey permalink
    December 10, 2008 10:17 pm

    This one goes along with the “breaking news” grievance. News organizations who feel the need to have a reporter report live in front of a darkened building where some event happened in the past.

  2. Anonymous permalink
    December 10, 2008 10:39 pm

    Griever revision to #15–the intent was 70 degrees as a temperature, just to clarify.

    Overall, more excellent grievances!

  3. Christine permalink
    December 11, 2008 9:34 am

    Oh no… don’t knock twitter… So much more than ‘what are you doing?’ No one follows people who actually answer that question.

    No more tweets for you!

  4. Jamey Stegmaier permalink
    December 11, 2008 10:19 pm

    Twitter…yeah, that was me. Explain what makes Twitter useful. What question do people care about? I’m planning a post on it soon.

  5. Anonymous permalink
    December 11, 2008 10:38 pm

    OK…I must be completely out of touch with the world. What is twitter?

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