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Top Festivus Grievances of 2007

December 5, 2008

  1. The Travelocity Roaming Gnome—his antics are giving other garden porcelain a bad name
  1. Dane Cook—for telling us over and over that there is only one Actober! [It took about a year, but finally everyone realizes that Dane Cook sucks.]
  1. Hips that lie
  1. Delilah After Dark—for many reasons, including her poor taste in music when people ask her to pick a song and when she refers to diamonds as “bling.”

6.   People who use phrases like “anywho” and “what can I do you for?”

5.   Popped collars

4.   The decline of the adverb.  (Ex. I feel bad vs. I feel badly.) 

  1. My dog was neutered and he’s still licking his balls in pleasure (and humping me occasionally)
  1. Urinal cakes—not as tasty as other pastries
  1. Girls who can’t take a punch (written by a girl)

5 Comments leave one →
  1. Rachel L permalink
    December 6, 2008 4:39 pm

    are we stuck in a time warp that is always 2006?

    i hope not. because if we are, i want to strangle amy winehouse.

  2. Anonymous permalink
    December 8, 2008 1:26 pm

    I’m curious about the origin of the example in #4. Do you know whether the author considered “I feel bad” or “I feel badly” correct?

  3. Jamey Stegmaier permalink
    December 8, 2008 11:53 pm

    I think the author considered “I feel badly” correct.

  4. Anonymous permalink
    December 9, 2008 8:34 am

    That person is incorrect, unless he or she intends the statement to mean that he or she cannot physically touch things very well. I know this is only an example, but it simply doesn’t work with a verb that can be both linking (“I feel” as a state of being) and transitive (“I feel” as an action). While I applaud this griever’s grievance, I am saddened by this example. (Also, this may be the most boring comment ever, and for that, I apologize.)

  5. Harley permalink
    December 11, 2009 2:35 pm

    Re: #5 Quote of last Friday comes from girl, unpopping boyfriend’s collar. “Don’t be a d-bag.”

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