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JoshVision: Question of the Day

October 14, 2008

QOD: When people speak of a better place or a better situation than the one they’re in, they often refer to “the land of milk and honey.” My question, or questions: Is there an actual land of milk and honey? Where is it? Why don’t people just move there? Also, why milk and honey? Why not 7-Up and corn syrup? Would you really want to live in a land of milk and honey? Wouldn’t the milk just go bad, and the bee situation quite dangerous?

Answer: Milk and honey are both closely associated with a prosperous life.  I myself have been living the high life since becoming the recent benefactor of a very lucrative 3% cost of living raise.  You know what I had for dinner the first night to celebrate?  A glass of chocolate milk and a spoonful of honey.  Decadent and delicious.


So why are milk and honey connected to prosperity?  Well for one, both milk and honey are things that people like, aside from the lactose intolerant and anti-bee-ites we keep hearing about on the news.  Milk is especially good.  It helps build strong bodies.  Except for soy milk.  That stuff is simply pure concentrated evil.

*Fact: Soy milk is/was the drink of choice of Adolf Hitler, Darth Vader, The Joker, and Kevin Spacey’s character in Se7en.  Prove me wrong, Wikipedia.

The second reason for the association calls back to our humble origins as a species.  Back when Fred Flintstone roamed the earth, only the very successful, very smart, and very lucky were fortunate enough to dine on milk and honey every night.  Everyone else jealously sat in their caves and nursed bee stings and various cow hoof injuries, both hating and secretly wanting to be one of the milk and honey people. 

*Fact:- The quest for honey was actually the second leading cause of death in early man.  The quest for milk was a pathetic eleventh.

So there you go, Stegmaier.  Next week’s question—who actually lives in this mythical and wonderful land of milk and honey?  My short answer: cows, goats, new mothers, and bees.  Lots of bees. 

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