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The Naked Contest

September 22, 2008

A friend of mine told me the other day that he once participated in a naked contest with a few people. At first I thought, “Why were you hanging out with a bunch of naked people?”, but that’s not what he was saying. The contest was that these people, in their separate apartments and homes, tried to see who could avoid putting on clothes for the longest period of time. To compound matters, all of these people worked normal jobs (opposed to those jobs advertised online that ensure that you will make $80,000 working from home doing nothing but watching TV).

My friend didn’t reveal how long he went naked, but he said the winner of the contest went 4 days without wearing a single item of clothing. 4 days. My goodness. That’s over half a week. Apparently it was a three day weekend, so he came home from work on Friday, stripped, and remained naked until he had to go to work on Tuesday morning. He had stocked up on food for the weekend, and he never went out (nudity doesn’t come without its downsides).

Hanging out alone at home for four days doesn’t seem like it would be all that hard. Boring, perhaps, but not difficult. But think about the simple idea that you wouldn’t get to wear clothing that long. There are so many things that you just shouldn’t do naked. In the kitchen alone there are so many don’ts: You shouldn’t fry anything naked. You shouldn’t boil naked. And men, you shouldn’t slice or dice or mince naked.

Anonymous winner of this arbitrary but interesting contest, I salute your bravery. For the rest of you, if you’re bold enough to post: What’s the longest you’ve ever remained naked? (Mom, if you read this, please don’t post an answer.)

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