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Horpiduck

July 2, 2008

Because I flatly refuse to own coasters (who in their right mind thought of something specifically made to put between cups and a flat surface perfectly suited for cups?!), Caroline and I use magazines and old mail on our coffee table instead. I’ve been sick these last few days, so I’ve spent a lot of looking down at bowls of soup that taunt me with lingering promise of solid food.

Beneath those bowls of soup has been an envelope from the Longmeadow Rescue Ranch’s “Barn Buddy” program, which pairs educated, middle-class members of society with troubled animals (those who have run “a-fowl,” if you don’t mind the pun) in an effort to prevent them from repeating the mistakes of their forefathers. Caroline used this program to give me a great gift back in March–she adopted a potbellied pig named Wyatt for me. In return, Wyatt, probably too afraid to meet his adopted father for the first time, promptly gave me the wrong directions to the Rescue Ranch. Let’s just say that “Papa” doesn’t like to get lost, so Wyatt is now an orphan again.

Anyway, in spending the majority of my time staring at the Longmeadow envelope these last few days, I noticed for the first time today that their logo is a bit…conspicuous. See below:

So let me get this straight: Longmeadow Rescue Ranch, a division of the Humane Society of Missouri, committed to protecting hurt, lost, and abandoned farm animals…is advocating that people eat horse stuffed with pig stuffed with duck? Er?

We’ve seen this before, but never at that magnitude of meat. I missed it when my family cooked one a few years ago, but ole’ reliable John Madden eats a turducken every Thanksgiving:

Yep, that’s meat stuffed inside meat inside of meat. I’ve heard it’s pretty good. But horpiduck? That’s a lot of food.

Memo to Longmeadow: I wanted to adopt a cute little potbellied pig, not feast upon horse stuffed with pig stuffed with duck. Was that not clear? As a fundraiser amongst a million fundraisers, it’s all about image–stick with a logo that makes people want to save animals, not savor them.

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