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I Am Iron Man

May 1, 2008

I’ve been hiding something from you, faithful readers, for the last four months. This secret keeps those around me safe while danger lurks nearby. The mask I wear hides my true identity from the world, an identity that the world may not be ready for. An identity that I, myself, may not be ready to face.

But I can hide no more. If you don’t know who I truly am, I can’t protect you from the shadows that loom around the corner, the evil robots and mad scientists that give you nightmares. For me to help you, you must know who I am.

I am Iron Man.

The real reason I’m revealing my identity at this time is that a documentary has just been filmed about me. It comes out tomorrow, but I was privy to an advance screening tonight. With all due respect to myself, I would call this documentary the best live-action super hero movie ever made.

The action is spectacular—tense, suspenseful, clear, beautifully filmed. I love the way Jon Favreau caught me on film in these scenes. He shows how cool it is to wear the Iron Man suit (seen above), and I’m sure that millions of people will want a suit of their own after this weekend.

Unfortunately, there’s only one, and I’m wearing it.

Iron Man: The Documentary also has many surprisingly funny moments in the midst of a movie that doesn’t stoop to cheap comedic relief. There are genuine laughs in it. When I’m out of my Iron Man suit, I’m really funny! So are the varied characters who occupy my life.

The documentary is extremely well plotted and paced, as Favreau mixed sweet action scenes with “talky” scenes that still manage to keep you riveted. When Pepper gives me a heart (homage to The Wizard of Oz, perhaps?), I was truly moved.

I respect the other live-action super heroes of my time: Superman, Spider-Man, Batman. But only one man is made of iron. The is the kind of summer documentary that needs to be made more often. Go see it. Trust me. Trust Iron Man.

Now I must bid you adieu. Heroic acts (and two hungry cats) await.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Adam permalink
    May 2, 2008 10:50 am

    I’m just glad those pictures are on the internet for all to see, for all eternity.

  2. Anonymous permalink
    May 2, 2008 1:49 pm

    I didn’t know that Iron Man wore Scoobys on his feet.


  3. patrick permalink
    May 6, 2008 10:31 pm

    nice glowing chest generator heart-thing

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